Friday, August 9, 2019


                   Pregnancy Dreams/Signs


        I always feel really in tune with baby during pregnancy. Like I can talk to them. Every time I'm pregnant I get vivid dreams. Not just any kind of dream, but a dream that tells me something important that actually is true. For instance, when I was pregnant with my son Jimmy, I saw my son as his one year old self (all blonde and chunky.) I said to him, "You look like a boy to me and everyone keeps telling me you're a girl." He said, "Tell dad I am a boy." And that was the end of my dream. So at 9 weeks pregnant I was 100% certain he was boy and I knew what he would look like. And it was true.




        With my second pregnancy, when I was just seven weeks pregnant, I had a dream that took place at my doctor's office. We were looking at the ultrasound and all i could see was my baby waving bye to me. I woke up that morning and called my mom and I told her that i knew that I would never meet this baby because they told me goodbye last night. My mother told me to start thinking positively but I already knew what was coming. At 9 weeks pregnant I began experiencing lots of pain and bleeding so I went in to see my doctor. He told me that my baby passed 2 weeks ago and was starting to make its exit out of my body. I cried so much and stopped leaving the house as much. I was so lost and couldn't understand why my baby had to tell me goodbye. Looking back now I realize how lucky I was able to say goodbye to my baby, even if it was in a dream.





        With my third pregnancy, I had no dreams but at exactly 10 weeks pregnant I rushed to the emergency room because I was having labor pains and bleeding heavily. The emergency room doctor called me "psycho" and told me that bleeding was probably normal for me and I just didn't know it yet. He said my baby was healthy and then he said, "Look at the screen. Your baby is even waving at you!" It was the same as the dream with my last pregnancy except now it was real life. I knew what was happening so ignored his comments and went to my parent's house (my husband was gone on pre deployment training and my parents were helping me with Jimmy that day.) After a few hours the pain was so bad I couldn't walk anymore. I knew I was in active labor. I checked myself to see if I was dilated. I was. I went to the bathroom and my water broke. Out came my beautiful son, who I called Michael. Alive and struggling to live. I could not save him and that still haunts to know I watched my son die in my hands. My mom rushed in the room and screamed, "Oh my gosh he is alive!." But we both knew he wouldn't make it and he died within a minute.





        Well it's now my fourth pregnancy and last week I had my first dream at 10 weeks pregnant. I told my mother I refuse to talk to this baby because I don't want to know anything but I do love them. I just don't want to know if something bad may happen. I have always prayed for my babies not this one i probably pray for them over 20 times a day. I just don't think I can take the pain of losing another one. So back to my dream, I'm sitting on the toilet and its filled with lots of blood (just like my last 2 miscarriages) and I am crying and I hear this man's voice say either, "Not today." or "Not this time." I can't remember which one he said for sure. But i look back in the toilet and the blood is gone. I woke crying and I had to tell my husband. I feel like God came to tell me because he knew I am in constant worry.





          Has anyone else had pregnancy related dreams or signs, good or bad, that turned out to be true? I would love to hear them. 

Wednesday, January 16, 2019

Eczema Lotion Bars

I remember the day I found out Jimmy had eczema. I was so happy to have found out what was causing my 3 month old to not sleep at all and not allowing me to put him down. I wrote down everything the doctor told me and purged my home of everything triggering his eczema. I would later find out on my son's second birthday and that his eczema was a "hard to treat" case. I've learned so much about eczema because of my son. For instance, did you know there are actually 7 types of eczema? Three in which over the counter products rarely can treat? Also, did you know there is no cure for eczema, only products that can help manage it? 
Unfortunately I learned the hard way from trial and error. After a couple weeks of trying my doctor's recommendations,I began googling better solutions. That's when i came across Wellness Mama's Eczema Lotion Bars recipe. I tried it, and it was the first thing that kind of worked so I began switching up the recipe to modify it for my son. (keep scrolling for my version of the recipe)
After a year of making my own lotion bars my son's skin starting clearing up drastically. Hardly having a breakout. I got a little lazy and began trying over the counter products again. His skin worsen. The breakouts were horrible. His skin bleed constantly and he never slept.  That's when the "Mommy Shamers" entered my life. "This is because of your lotion bars, you should try (insert just about every product here.)" "Your causing your son so much pain!" and a thousand other mean things. Even though I knew it wasn't my lotion bars that made him breakout, the next year I would spend trying almost every other over the counter product. When a product wouldn't work for my son someone would always say, "Well it works for mine, so maybe you need to try it out again." 
Right before my son's second birthday, I took him to the doctors to try and find a solution for managing Jimmy's eczema. After ruling out allergies, on my son's second birthday, my doctor said "I know what this is, your son's has the same type of eczema as my daughter and I don't know why I didn't catch it in the first place. You won't be able to treat this with most over the counter products. Over the counter products are for mild to moderate eczema." She gave me an ointment to use for a week to treat his skin. Then he recommended for me to go back to using my lotion bars.
How did I forget about my lotion bars? Out of all things! So consistently for over a year now I've been treating my son with the same recipe I modified for him in the beginning. However, I am extremely thankful for that hard year because i discovered Bend Soap Company. They have a couple products I still use on my son. I will mention them in a few.
I noticed that my personal lotion bar I make cleared up a breakout quickly but it did come back kind of quickly. It will get less and less over and long period of time. I also noticed the Unscented Goat Milk Lotion from Bend Soap Co would not quickly clear up a breakout but slowly over time clear it up for a longer period of time. So i began applying both to my son's skin; first my lotion bar (because it is a bit greasy) and then the unscented goat milk lotion. We've gone over a year with no bleeding, no prescription ointments, and manageable outbreaks. Hallelujah!
I feel like I'm living the dream! I actually get sleep and am able to follow a day to day schedule. So that's why I'm so happy to share the recipe with you! Yes, 5 doctors (because that's all the doctor's I've been to for Jimmy's eczema) have approved this lotion bar and it's safe for babies.



Eczema Lotion bars

1/3 cup Mango Butter
3 Tablespoons Beeswax pellets
2 Tablespoons Coconut Oil
1/4 Cup Olive Oil
1 Teaspoon Vitamin E oil
1/2 Teaspoon Jojoba Oil
20 Drops Tea Tree Oil
20 Drops Chamomile Oil
1/4 Teaspoon Lavender Essential Oil 
1 Tablespoon Colloidal Oatmeal (extra fine)

Boil Water in a pan. Place mango butter, beeswax, and coconut oil in a mason jar. Place mason jar in pan with boiling water. Cover top with something small like an oven mitt so no water gets in. Melt completely.
While waiting for it to melt, put olive oil, vitamin e, jojoba oil, tea tree oil chamomile, and lavender in a separate bowl. Once mango butter mixture is melted remove from heat. Combine olive oil mixture and mango butter mixture quickly. Add colloidal oatmeal. Mix well and quickly. Pour into 3 deodorant bottles. Let sit for 4 hours or till it hardens.    



Reasons for each ingredient

Mango Butter: High in Vitamin A and fatty acids, anti inflammatory, reduces itching, irritation and redness.  
Beeswax: Soothes and protects delicate skin
Coconut Oil: "has antibacterial, anti-fungal, antioxidant and antimicrobial properties that can help soothe your skin when it's itchy during a flare-up, and can also help reduce the inflammation" quoted from FAZ ABDUL GAFFA-MARSH
Olive Oil: reduces inflammation and prevents skin from drying out
Vitamin E Oil: Provides a temporary relief from itchiness. moisturizes the skin to prevent dry skin
Jojoba Oil: has anti- inflammatory and healing properties. helps with dryness, flaking and itching.
Tea Tree Oil: Helps reduce itching
Chamomile Oil: soothes inflamed skin, minimizes flakiness and dehydrated skin 
Lavender Essential Oil: Helps heal red dry skin
Colloidal Oatmeal: Helps relieve dry, itchy and irritated skin



Great Products I continue to use of Jimmy's skin:

Soap: Bend Soap Co Unscented Goat Milk Soap (I also use this in his hair. His scalp is really dry)
Milk Bath: Bend Soap Milk Bath (I give Jimmy a milk bath every time he takes and bath and I have to limit his baths so he doesn't dry out his skin excessively. I always buy pounds of this stuff)
Hand Soap: Dr. Bonner's Baby Unscented Pure Castile soap. (For this, fill a soap dispenser about 1/4 full with the castile soap and dilute with water.)
Secondary Lotion (as mentioned above): Bend Soap Co Unscented Goat Milk Lotion



Well I hope I am able to help anyone out there who might have been dealing with the same problem as my son. If you end up trying the lotion bars, please let me know how it worked for you. Or if you ended up changing up the recipe a few times like I did! Just remember no two people are alike so what may work for someone may not work for you.